I was a hardcore disbeliever in a ‘higher power’ not so long ago.
God, universe, life force, source, or whatever terminology you want to use, did not exist in my understanding of my own being. It wasn’t that I was pessimistic (although I did end up that way), it was just that I was all about the proof, the science, the facts… and less about the spirituality, feeling, or faith.
The religious scriptures and doctrines were (and still are) lost on me, simply because they are weaponised and misinterpreted to seize power and gain control – although by whom and for what reason I am yet to understand.
Quite simply, I do not believe that you have to associate with any religion or movement to be a good person. Neither do you need to attend a specific daily, weekly or annual ceremony or holy place to feel faith.
What even is faith? Well, faith for me means that I am never alone, figuratively speaking. It means I am supported by a non-physical entity, and there is always good coming into my life. I believe that, with all of my being. This positive disposition has changed me in the most substantial way. From an emotional, temperamental, naïve and faithless pessimist, to a calm, mostly positive, happy, realist-come-optimist.
This was ever so important to me and came especially useful in dealing with the loss of my great-grandmother. The simple connection that I feel with life around me, comforted me in ways I cannot even explain. I felt her presence- an impossibility some may say. I also feel it day-to-day. In situations that may have enraged me previously, now I can casually disconnect my emotions and revert to my personal philosophy that everything is good and I am supported. If nothing else, I’m sure my blood pressure is always steady anyway.
Some might also argue that I am not living as a realist because of these beliefs… and I would be most curious to have a conversation with those people.